I have started Law School today. I am unsure how much, if any, I will post in the near future. I apologize to the 3 of you still reading. I am not going to shut the site down as I may have more time than I realize and other people post things occasionally. Anyway, prepare for the deafening silence.
Hollar.
Anderson Silva DESTROYS Forrest Griffin…with a fadeaway jab. Watch and enjoy. Via With Leather
pretty self explanatory.
For the news story that covers this, click here.
That is all.
This is a clip of another UM commit for the class of ‘10. He reminds me of Pat White in that he has a deceivingly strong arm. Scout only has him ranked as a 2* player (which is ridiculous). When scout re-evaluates I think he will get to 3*. With two VY type commit for this class it should let RR sleep a little better at night and bring heavy competition in the future. Enjoy……
Mac9 was officially killed in a murder/suicide (or is it murder-suicide?) by a crazy woman. Apparently McNair was asleep when she fired a bullet into his temple, then two in the chest, then one more to the other temple before placing herself next to McNair and taking the coward’s way out and shooting herself. I will say what an older gentleman at the bank said the other day: “I think the thing we can all learn from this is to never trust a Persian woman.” Amen.
KSK had my two favorite things about the whole tragedy. When they broke the news they said, “Steve McNair found shot to death this morning in Nashville. He is expected to start Sunday.” And now this.
Whatever you think about Steve McNair and the crazy bitch that killed him, this is a tragedy for both families. Sad, sad business.
Meet 2010 UM commit Devin Garner……..
Football is still months away. Basketball is over. Hockey is over. The US Open will last till Sunday, Monday at the latest. Baseball is boring. UFC 100 is one night. Bleaghkch.
Here’s what Jurassic Park (one of my all time favorites) would have been like if the dinosaurs said “hey.”
Last night we entered a new era of Late Night TV shows when Conan O’Brian took the reins of the late night staple “The Tonight Show.” The late night game has always appealed to me since the first time I watched the “Late Show with David Letterman.” I don’t know when it was but it was shortly after the Leno/Letterman Tonight Show Fiasco, and I tuned in to see Dave take the stage. It was probably one of the defining moments of my development as a person and I am not exaggerating.
The Classic Letterman Pose
Letterman has a certain style, a certain absurdity, a certain charisma that Jay Leno lacks. Leno is the mass appeal guy. The middle America guy. The safe guy. Letterman is the exact opposite. He’s absurd, crass, and at his best, he’s unpredictable. It was something about the style of comedy that appealed to me. He did stupid segments like “Hey, stop calling me cheif” where he would send out a camera to some unsuspecting guy on the street and talk to him, referring to the guy obsessivly as “Cheif” and the unknowing person had about 1 minute to say “Hey, stop calling me chief” or they lost. No one ever said it. But I loved it. I tried it at Sonic when I was ordering food with similar results. I was the only one laughing. Another favorite was “Beat the clock” where some unsuspecting fool would try desperately to stop a clock from ticking down to zero. No one ever won that game either. There was no way to stop the clock. It was the absurdity of it all that appealed to me. This guy had his own show where he did this stuff. No one questioned him. People sometimes didn’t laugh, and sometimes that was the point. The aukwardness was funny. The aukwardness was the joke. This was revolutionary to me, especially as a young adolescent. Comedy wasn’t just punchlines and zingers. Comedy was much, much more.
Jay Leno: Tool.
That’s the difference between Jay and Dave. Jay was all punchlines. People say, Jay is funnier, he has better jokes. To which I say, “are you fucking kidding me?” Jay has segments where he goes out on the street and asks simple questions and we laugh when people give stupid answers. And another where he reads typos in newspapers that have mildly humorous consequences. This is Leno Humor. This is mass appeal. This is playing it safe and collecting a paycheck.
When people answer the classic question “Letterman or Leno?” they tell a lot about themselves. People who choose Leno tend to be boring and dull. People who choose Letterman tend to be awesome and hilarious. It was a classic match up between two people in direct competition for our eyes. I will mention that Leno won the ratings war consistently throughout the time the two went head to head. And I say that to say that most of America is populated by idiots*. When you come down on either side of the Letterman/Leno debate, you tell a lot about yourself…really you just tell a lot about your sense of humor, but that’s important. If someone doesn’t like Letterman, well, I just don’t know how I can even continue a conversation with them. It probably will end up being about reality TV or baseball. And I don’t have time for that.
*This was the first illustration of that fact in my life. There have been many, many more over the years: American Idol, the 2000 and 2004 Presidential Elections, Reality TV Shows, Dance Flick, PETA…you get the point.
For those of you who don’t know, Letterman was the original host of “Late Night,” the show Conan O’Brien had hosted since 1993. And as to where Conan falls in the Letterman/Leno pantheon, he is most definitely in the Letterman camp. Although he is not as crass as Letterman can be (Conan is too nice and too polite), he revels in the absurd. Conan has had an interesting story himself, working as a TV writer (SNL, the Simpson’s) and parlaying that success into a TV gig that no one thought he should get, and ultimately sticking around long enough to take the holy grail that will elude Letterman until the end. Last night’s show was pretty good, it had some good bits, it had Andy Richter, and it had no Leno. We can all be thankful for that.
Now, there are two Late Late Night shows that follow Letterman and now Conan. Craig Ferguson is on the Late Late Show after Letterman that is produced by Letterman’s World Wide Pants production company. And douchebag Jimmy Fallon is now the host of the show Letterman started and Conan hosted for the last 27 years. But a funny thing happened on the way to Craig Ferguson owning my 1135-1235 time slot. Jimmy Fallon is actually pretty good. No, I shit you not. He’s pretty damn good. Check out this clip. Pretty good stuff*. Touche Jimmy Fallon. Touche.
*Slow Jamming the News will always be awesome as long as the Roots are the house band which is pretty cool in itself. And no, I didn’t know who they were until this show. But I do now, and they rock.
So the late late show slots are full just like the late show slots. This realization prompted me to write this blog post. There are now two competing shows on at 1035 and 1135 that are pretty damn good. I know I am excited. Can’t beat good comedy. And as for all the old people who like “that big chinned boy,” well, you can go to sleep earlier because Leno is doing a primetime show which I will never watch. Instead, watch these classic clips.
The Conan Collection. (HULU, of particular interest, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, and Conan doing the Old Time Baseball thing. Both are classics.)
Jimmy Fallon Slow Jams the News
Craig Ferguson (the best part of Ferguson’s shows are his cold opens. He just comes out to the camera and does something. And its usually wierd. And mostly awesome. This guy has grown on me.)
Letterman Classics
-Dave and Rupert annoy people. (also a classic clip from way back.)
I can go on forever with Dave clips. But we’ll stop here.
I’m about 2 weeks late on this internet meme. That’s what these stupid things that take the internet by storm for about 2 weeks are called: memes. Whatever.
Backstory: Keyboard Cat has a drunken, mexican cousin, Keyboard Gato. Take it away!
Because Doc Hobs likes medical stuff, and I’m pretty sure that guy gets taken off on a stretcher at the end.
Fictional Tracy Jordan movie posters
Here is a list of everything Tracy Jordon (Tracy Morgan’s character who is the egotistical, moronic (yet lovable) star of the fictional sketch comedy show around which the show is based) said in the last season. And if you don’t like it, well then you don’t like America. There should be an archive of all the great quotes from the show and as soon as I find it, it’ll be here. To summarize: you don’t like=you are an asshole.
Take these gems:
“If it weren’t for your people I’d still be in Africa. Gorgeous, politically stable, Africa.”
“Is there nothing sacred? Have we lost our moral center? It just makes me want to pee on someone.”
“What’s the past tense for scam? Is it scrummed? Liz Lemon, I think you just got scrummed.”
“There’s no link between diabetes and diet. That’s a white myth, Ken. Like Larry Bird or Colorado.”
“Devil’s avocado here, Larry. I think people should freak the geek out. Withdraw all your money and hide it.”
“I don’t need a birthday cause I buy myself all the presents I need. And because of my drinking, they’re often a surprise.”
“Jenna, I just want you to know, that if we find any human remains in there, I’m gonna throw up all over your face.”
“Don’t patronize me with your Celtic slang, Liz Lemon, we have a black president now.”
Clay Travis wrote about Crazy Mike Leach’s Crazy Playoff Plan. 64 teams. Balls to the wall action. Can I get a “what, what?!”
Read and enjoy. I for one, would shit my pants if this ever happened. Alas, the Big Ten’s douchebag commisioner deprives us of what could be the greatest things EVAH!