Dont Call It a Comeback

That is all.

Mac9 was officially killed in a murder/suicide (or is it murder-suicide?) by a crazy woman.  Apparently McNair was asleep when she fired a bullet into his temple, then two in the chest, then one more to the other temple before placing herself next to McNair and taking the coward’s way out and shooting herself.  I will say what an older gentleman at the bank said the other day: “I think the thing we can all learn from this is to never trust a Persian woman.”  Amen.

KSK had my two favorite things about the whole tragedy.  When they broke the news they said, “Steve McNair found shot to death this morning in Nashville.  He is expected to start Sunday.”  And now this.

Whatever you think about Steve McNair and the crazy bitch that killed him, this is a tragedy for both families.  Sad, sad business.

Football is still months away.  Basketball is over.  Hockey is over.  The US Open will last till Sunday, Monday at the latest.  Baseball is boring.  UFC 100 is one night.  Bleaghkch.

Here’s what Jurassic Park (one of my all time favorites) would have been like if the dinosaurs said “hey.”

In fact, of the 2005 class, they were more likely to be arrested than drafted by an NFL team.  Interesting read from Clay Travis.

Maybe we should spend more time getting these people prepared for life than telling them they are the next PacMan Jones.  Wait, did I say that right?

I didn’t really want to waste time talking about this douche, but along came someone else to do it for me.  Here is a Minnesota fan and his feelings about Brett.  Couldn’t have said it better myself.  {KSK - F_ck you Brett Favre}

NBA teams are better off financially to stay horrible.  Actually, they are better off trying to become worse.  And if you don’t think there are owners who see this as an opportunity, then you haven’t been paying attention to the Clippers, Grizzlies, or the Thunder.  It is a crisis that is hitting a league already battling back from a credibility crisis (The Referee Scandal of ‘08) and already borrowing money to make up losses that half the league are facing.  Not a good time for anyone, major sports included.

Bill Simmons - The No Benjamins Association.   Excellent rundown from a true fan.

The Wall Street Journal - The Year NBA Teams Quit Early.  A nice article highlighting the points Simmons makes.

And if you don’t care about the NBA, then don’t read it.  But Hockey is next, and Baseball is not far behind.  And the NFL is not invinceable.

But at least he’s not a bitchy asshole (it’s a joke.  just a joke.  hahaha, laugh laugh).  If you haven’t heard about Jay Cutler’s saga, here’s the rundown:

“Eh, I get paid millions to throw a ball during the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression but I feel entitled to bitch about everything around me.  I am a jackass.” -Jay Cutler on the record.

He was mentioned in a three team trade that would send him to the Bucs, a draft pick from the Bucs to the Pats and Matt Cassell from the Pats to the Broncos.  Only, Bilichick wanted a 2nd round pick instead of a 1st and traded Cassell to his old pal in KC (Collusion, Conspiracy, Tampering).  So, it never happened, but Jay is pissed he was even mentioned.

Yes, this third year QB who has never taken a team to the playoffs (even Vince could manage that) and shown that he can brag more than he can play (”My arm is stronger than John Elway’s”  WHO GIVES A SHIT?! WIN A FUCKING PLAYOFF GAME, ASSHOLE!) decided he is the fucking franchise and any mention of him is strictly taboo.  Now he won’t talk to the team, his employers, and the city is turning on him.  On the radio today, a Denver sportscaster called him “a little bitch.”  I don’t think anyone would argue this point.

My main point is that people should stop comparing VY, Cutler, and Leinart because it is obvious that they are all insufferable assholes.  The Texans hit the jackpot.  Not only is Mario Williams awesome, but he’s personable and funny, too.  And Reggie Bush may not be as good as advertised, but at least he dates that chick with the fat ass.

I really don’t know how impressed I should be by this because I’ve never seen it done before or attempted anything close to it on my own, but I have to imagine jumping out of a swimming pool is pretty amazing, right?

San Jose State DE Jerron Gilbert

Hey, if only in a future Nike/Gatorade*/ESPN commercial, its still fun to dream about.

Some Projections:

Avg. Fantasy Football Draft Posish:  5th.  First WR taken.

Number of Championships for Cleveland:  0.  Brady Quinn is still the QB.

Amount of Hatred I would have for him because of his three years at Ohio St.:  Infinite.

Personally, I’m glad he stuck with the roundball.  I am looking forward to the commercial.  My guestimate:  Super Bowl Sunday seems like a good time for a debut.

UPDATE:  I just saw a commercial with this being hinted at and a 1/18/09 date.  So watch for that.

*If you’ve been wondering what those “G” Commercials with all the big athletes are all about, it’s Gatorade.  They are re-branding it or something stupid like that.   weaksauce.

There are no words from me.  Too soon.  Talk amongst yourselves…

(SI)

HOLD ON TO THE BALL YOU STUPID FUCK!

Ok.  There were those words.

My thoughts on Thursdays big game:  I have a feeling Florida is going to win.  I just don’t see Oklahoma pulling it off.  How’s that for in depth analysis?

Bowl Games:  Ok, I actually watched a little bit of a few of them and well, they weren’t all crap.  Although when the announcers start talking like bowl games are a better idea than a playoff I have to turn it off.  You can feed me this bullshit, just don’t lie to me.  That’s all I ask.

Fox’s Coverage of the BCS games:  It is horrific beyond words.  I watched some of the Ohio St.-Texas game and I was miserable the whole time.  The announcers were constantly wrong about which player was doing what.  They had camera shots that would zoom in on logos like Budweiser and Gatorade.  This wasn’t just between commercial breaks, it was between plays.  And it was so painfully obvious.  The down and distance graphic was consistantly wrong.  At one point an announcer said Chris Wells had 9 rushes for 89 yards or something.  Then he broke off  an eight yard run.  A graphic popped up that said he had 10 rushes for 89 yards.  WTF, Fox?  The announcers were consistantly wrong about what had happened on the play before and replays were at a premium.  It was the worst presentation I’ve ever seen.  I guess that’s what happens when you don’t show a college game all year and then pay millions of dollars to play the most important ones.

But they did handle the reaction shots nicely.

GETSOME!!!!!11!!1

The Colts:  Seriously?  You lost to this dude?

The Ravens:  That’s what happens when you get five turnovers.  Did you see Flacco’s stats?  9-23 for 123 or something rediculous like that.  All I’m saying is the Titans have to make the rookie QB play.

The Titans:  Unfortunately,  Kevin Mawae is out for the game.  So they may get five more turnovers.  Who knows?  I am 47% less confident about the game now that Mawae is out.

Players Titans cannot afford to lose for the Ravens Game, in order of importance:

Kerry Collins  (that would lead to more Vince Young)

Kevin Mawae

Chris Johnson

Cortland Finnegan

The LB Core

I don’t include any D lineman because we fared OK without Haynesworth and KVB.

That is all till Thursday night.  Apologies for the smattering of posts lately.  Been a little busy, a little writer’s blocked, and a little lazy.

It was a might good week to be hatin’.  A round-up from around the interwebs:

Hatin’ on Jay Cutler.  (KSK)  Allow me to say that even though Vince Young is a terrible QB, Jay Cutler has made the playoffs exactly zero times.  Vince at least squeaked in last year as a starter (even though he rode the defense and run game and mostly tried to not screw up).  Jay Cutler is this generation’s Dan Marino.

Hatin’ on Peter King of Sports Illustrated.  (KSK)

Hatin’ on Haters of Chris Paul.  (Deadspin)

Hatin’ on the Patriots.  (KSK)

Hatin’ on the Pats some more.  (KSK)

Hatin’ on THE BEST HIGH SCHOOL TRAINER EVER!  (Deadspin)

Hatin’ on the 0-fer Lions.  (With Leather)

Plus:  Mangini Fired!  Brett Favre sucking ass!  Crennel Fired!  Marinelli Fired!  Severe Beatdowns in the UFC!

What a day for hate.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Not only did Brett Favre’s terrible interceptions cost the Jets the playoffs, it screwed over the Patriots as well!  Oh my!  Life is sweet!

Also, stories are surfacing about Brett Favre not taking to kindly to Coach Mangini calling him out in front of the team and in private about shitty play.  And Favre was bitching about having to go to team meetings and participating in team activities.  What an UNBELEIVABLE dickbag.  And an announcer had the stones to call what Favre did this year “Courageous.”  I could not be happier that Favre has nothing to do with the postseason this year.  SOOOOOO happy.

Yeah.  That Barry Sanders. He has reproduced.

Barry Sanders, Sr.:  Greatest Running Back Ever. Video Evidence after the jump…

(more…)

 How did I not know there are twins on the Titans Cheerleading Squad?

The Titans take their 10-0 record back home to Adelphi- excuse me, LP Field to do field battle with the NY Jets.  Then it’s a short 3 day break and they travel to Detroit for a Thanksgiving Day Game.  I am particularly excited about the Thanksgiving Throwdown that I will be watching with the fam and a side of turkey.

But first, we play one of my least favorite teams in the NFL*.  The Jets are quarterbacked by Brett Favre.  Or as the National Media refers to him, Jesus Christ Quarterback.  As far as they are concerned, the man can do no wrong.  This is especially true for Peter King (SI), John Madden (NBC), and ESPN (ESPN).  But this is only part of the problem with the insufferable Brett Favre.  The other is the man himself.  For someone that I once loved and cheered for, Favre has fallen harder than the Simpson’s after the 90’s.  He is arrogant, whiny, and a rat.  He sold out his old team to the fucking Lion’s.  Depending on who you beleive, he either called or was called by the Lion’s and proceeded to give up all the information he had about the Packers before the Lion’s were to face them.  What a dick.  And his whole routine of “I’m retired, no wait, I’m back, no retired…BACK!  No, seriously, I’m just gonna retire back in Mississippi with my wife and ki-BACK!  I’M BACK!” bullshit has gotten really old.

*The list goes like this:

1.)  New England

2.)  New York J

3.)  Oakland 

4.)  Denver

5.)  Jacksonville

Of all the teams the Titans could lose to I pray it is not the Jets.  I would rather lose to the Lion’s than the fucking Jets.  I couldn’t watch TV for a week for fear of stumbling upon some announcer or analyst slobbering all over Favre’s cock.  It would literally ruin my year.  Like if Alabama loses to Auburn this year.  Or if Tennessee goes 3-9 or something crazy like that.  Fuck the Jets and their pussy ass, “Oh, he’s like a kid out there,” cocksucking QB.  And about the “Oh, he’s a kid out there” bullshit.  Just because someone has fun playing a game, it doesn’t make him a kid.  It makes him a human.  These assholes are getting payed to play a fucking game for a living.  They should be happy.   Oh, some of them aren’t?  Well, fuck them.  They can’t be good.  “Hey look at Tony Romo, he’s got a goofy ass grin on his face.  Well, he’s the next Brett Favre!”  All I’m saying is fuck. that. bullshit.  Some people aren’t all grins and giggles.

Moving on to Mercury Morris.  Uh-oh, a 10-0 team!  Better trot out the 79 Fins!  But only Mercury Morris will talk because he’s a camera whore.  But this year he likes the Titan’s moxy.  ?  Whatever.  I’m tired of them.  I wish they would all die so we can only hear about them in graphic form.  That was 30 years ago.  No one cares anymore.

That is all.  I don’t want to talk too much about the Titan’s.  Don’t want to jinx it.  Just don’t lose to the Jets.  That’s all I ask.

 editor’s note:  All of the fucking cool symbols used in this post turn out to be fucking question marks when you post it.  So pretend you’re looking at wacky symbols the whole time, not question marks.  Life is a series of endless disappointments.  That is all.

Checking in on a few things:

-The Titans are 9-0.  Scared to say anything.  Don’t want to jinx it.

-College Football Roundup:

?  Wyoming?  Really?

?  Penn St is in the Big 10, thus destined to not play in the national championship this year.  There was talk that even if they did go undefeated, a 1 loss team might still be ahead of them.  It’s best if the Big 10 just takes a break for a little while.  Enjoy your Rose Bowl and don’t bother the rest of us with your “football.”

?  If everything works out, the SEC Championship game between Florida and Alabammy will be a de facto National Championship Semi Final.  Fuck that.  I want a National Championship Semi Final without any queer latin in front of it.  De Facto can lick my taint.

?   I had to have one more thing because I wanted to use all the suits.  I just found the symbols button.  Look for more cool symbols to be heading your way.  Like this:  ?  What the fuck is that?!  No one knows. (ed note:  Yes we do know.  It’s a question mark.  Moving on…)

-NBA Happenstance:  No one watches the NBA before January and mostly no one watches until after the Super Bowl.  Against the better judgement of my friends, I joined a couple of Fantasy Basketball Leagues to give that a go.  The terror…the terror.  Now I have to pay attention to this bullshit.  Apparently because no one watches, star players think of every excuse to get out of playing early in the season.  I have so many injuries and absences on my team it is impossible to pick a starting lineup.  Mehmet Okur is in fucking Turkey right now!  Hey you fuck!  The fucking season started!  Come get some rebounds and high shooting percentages for me you queer!  (?  Look, a trident!) (ed note:  it was a wicked trident)  So in conclusion, you rich assholes need to play the fucking game you’re getting paid to play.  I don’t want to hear about sprained ankles and strained shoulders, I’m on to you dickbags.  Man up and play!  (? Fancy.) (ed note:  I’m not even going to tell you what that was.  It’s too depressing.)

-The Phillies won a couple of weeks ago.  I’m sure no one noticed so I’m filling you in.  They asked one of the Phillies what he was going to do now that he won the World Series and he said, “Reporting for Spring Training on Monday.”  ZING!!!!  You get it?  Baseball is long.  Ah, this baby’s wasted on you, where’s Chad?