Football is still months away. Basketball is over. Hockey is over. The US Open will last till Sunday, Monday at the latest. Baseball is boring. UFC 100 is one night. Bleaghkch.
Here’s what Jurassic Park (one of my all time favorites) would have been like if the dinosaurs said “hey.”
The Tennessee Vols of the hardwood are a 9 seed playing OK St. in the NCAA Tourney. IF they get by OK St. they get to play Pitt, who will absolutely destroy them. So, the season is effectively over. The loss to Miss St. in the SEC tournament Championship game sealed UT’s fate. A lot of people have been bitching and moaning about how tough a schedule they played (#2 SOS) and the RPI (Pretty good I imagine) being so high and still they got a 9 seed. To those people I say, “Did you watch them play a fucking game this year?” This is a team that is inconsistent as hell, rarely plays the kind of game that anyone would call “competent” and failed to dominate the shittiest major conference in the country. Sorry, but 9 seed is about right. They underachieved like a motherfucker and never figured out how to play defense, or play together for that matter.
On the Foosball field, the Vols have been making a lot of noise, well, Lane Kiffin has been making a lot of noise. And just today Bryce Brown, the #1 recruit (RIVALS) committed to UT. Brown said, “God told me to be a Volunteer.” For all the crazy that Kiffin brings to the table, he certainly can recruit. It remains to be seen how good they will be on gameday (a quick rundown of some games that matter: Florida will beat us by double digits, Georgia has a good chance of falling because of all that they lost, and Alabama could be a huge upset. Kiffin will probably have one next year) but grabbing Brown and fellow recruiting holdout David Oku will certainly be big on offense. What does all of this mean?
Basically, it means that until someone puts the smackdown on the Vols, we are gonna be talking some mad shit*. The floodgates are open. You have been warned.
*Check out that signing class bitches. That is a sign of the motherfuckin future. UT gonna straight run shit like it was 1998. Florida Faggots and Alabammer Bitches better watch out. Lane Kiffin is bringing his Crazy Talkin’ Gridiron Travelin’ Show to your town and he ain’t leavin’ till the men are in tears and the women’s panties are soaked. We have arrived at a new beginning. UT football will no longer ride the waves of mediocrity on the Good Ship Fulmer. No. We will be at the helm of the SEC Freighter, bringing the best fucking football conference in the country to further glory, rising to the likes of which have never been seen. Hell Fucking Yeah. And no, I don’t think I am overstating anything.
It also means that the concentration of power in the SEC will only deepen. Florida returns all but two people, or something crazy like that, and Urb and Timbow are returning to rape the rest of the country one more time with annoying “Jump Passes” and horrible but effective one yard QB draws. Alabammy has a young team and were #1 for a lot of last year. LSU will return an always talented team. Add all of that to one more team that will have more talent than a beach got sand and you can prepare yourself for many more years of SEC domination. Not to mention the overall team speed of SEC teams is demonstrably greater than any other conference and hell, if you got money to put down, put it down on the Southeastern Conference.
Plus, you can’t coach this kind of talent.
Not if you go to Duke. Hey, it’s one of the perks.
Here is an article about Shane Battier. Dukie. Rocket. All around handsome man.
I haven’t read it yet because it is huge. But I hear it’s a real treat for basketball fans.
So give it a try if you got an especially long shit coming up.
Nice work.
First of all, who the hell is Jake?
Second of all, them Vols is bout it bout it.
I made a decision early on to not write about the BasketVols until they played defense. Not even an entire game, or an entire half, just once. I wanted to see defense played by the men’s basketball team once before I wrote about them. They waited until the Vandy game to do it. I couldn’t be happier about that.
So let’s get to it. I’m going to make it easy for those of you who could care less. There’s going to be a jump. Feel free to skip it, but there will be boobs on the other side (Semi NSFW).
JUMP!
Well. What a difference a couple days makes. When I last left the UT Basketball team, they were on the brink of either a continued rise or disaster. Consider disaster averted.
First: Bruce Pearl announces he’s staying and just so we believe him, Indiana hires Marquette’s coach. But now there are rumblings of a shakeup over in Big 12 land with Bill Self possibly returning to his alma mater at Oklahoma St. and the high profile Kansas job opening up after the Final Four. Personally, I believe Pearl. I think we have some loyalty for a little while with him (and he’s getting a raise).
Second: Scotty!
Yeah it’s a white guy he’s jumping over, so what? Wanna fight about it?
Scotty Hopson (6″5 SG, Parade and Mickey D’s All-American, Rivals.com #2 SG for the class of 2008, #9 player in all the land) is coming to K-town. The recruiting class now includes Hopson, Woolridge (wing), Jurick (post) and West (point). That certainly fills some holes now doesn’t it?
The last piece to this puzzle is Tyler Smith. He’s contemplating a jump to the Association and if he decides to, more power to him. I do think that with UT going out in the Sweet 16 limited his exposure and might drop him on draft boards. So that potentially helps Tennessee. I think he would do well to spend one more year in college but that’s me being selfish. H O W E V E R, if he does stay, then pencil in UT as the favorites to win the SEC again. I don’t care how far Florida went in the NIT.
I’ll use this to kinda wrap up UT’s season and weigh in on the Final Four, and other things. So, here we go.
The UT Men’s BBaller’s Squad takes the court Thursday night in the Sweet Sixteen for the second consecutive year. No UT Men’s team has made it past the Sweet Sixteen. Ever. In the history of the world.
The difference maker.
Wow, I have never heard sports broken down so well. This sports article is the most interesting I have ever seen. I think you should click here so you can enjoy sports article as well.
Ernest Hemingway breaks down the top teams in the NCAA Tournament. (McSweeney’s via Deadspin)
Some of us choose to go with our gut. Up 15 with 3 minutes to play? Yeah, we’re safe. Bill James would agree. Well, 87% agree.
As you recuse yourself from the outside world over the next few days, here’s a handy formula to let you know when it’s ok to go to the bathroom and not wory about missing a spectacular comeback…
After the Sun Devils got shafted out of the tournament - ok, it could have gone either way - here’s what our second-season coach had to say about criticism relating to strength of schedule:
When the tourney bracket was released on Sunday, many a UT fan’s first reaction was to call “Shenanigans!!!” Some of us fought that urge, others did not. No matter. What matters is that whether or not “Shenanigans” was officially called, the Vols that we’ve all come to know and love face possibly their biggest challenge as a fledgling “national power.”
Well, just fill out this application and you can be well on your way to playing like your favorite Dukies!
(”Seriously guys? South Carolina?” said Bruce Pearl/Jon Stewart.)
Well, that was horrible. It wasn’t a loss but it didn’t feel like a win. I guess advancing is all that matters. Shout out to T Smith and C Lofton for being clutch when it mattered despite poor games from both.
I “watched” the game by hitting refresh on ESPN’s GameCast over and over and over and over. It was horrible but I’m glad I didn’t watch on TV. I probably would have murdered Cooper. And he’s just a dog! What did he do? I don’t know, but he was going to pay for it. So for his sake, I’m glad I worked today.
Bring on Vandy/Arkansas!
