Football is still months away. Basketball is over. Hockey is over. The US Open will last till Sunday, Monday at the latest. Baseball is boring. UFC 100 is one night. Bleaghkch.
Here’s what Jurassic Park (one of my all time favorites) would have been like if the dinosaurs said “hey.”
Who woulda thunk an intentional walk would be this hard? Please note the score and the inning.
NBA teams are better off financially to stay horrible. Actually, they are better off trying to become worse. And if you don’t think there are owners who see this as an opportunity, then you haven’t been paying attention to the Clippers, Grizzlies, or the Thunder. It is a crisis that is hitting a league already battling back from a credibility crisis (The Referee Scandal of ‘08) and already borrowing money to make up losses that half the league are facing. Not a good time for anyone, major sports included.
Bill Simmons - The No Benjamins Association. Excellent rundown from a true fan.
The Wall Street Journal - The Year NBA Teams Quit Early. A nice article highlighting the points Simmons makes.
And if you don’t care about the NBA, then don’t read it. But Hockey is next, and Baseball is not far behind. And the NFL is not invinceable.
editor’s note: All of the fucking cool symbols used in this post turn out to be fucking question marks when you post it. So pretend you’re looking at wacky symbols the whole time, not question marks. Life is a series of endless disappointments. That is all.
Checking in on a few things:
-The Titans are 9-0. Scared to say anything. Don’t want to jinx it.
-College Football Roundup:
? Wyoming? Really?
? Penn St is in the Big 10, thus destined to not play in the national championship this year. There was talk that even if they did go undefeated, a 1 loss team might still be ahead of them. It’s best if the Big 10 just takes a break for a little while. Enjoy your Rose Bowl and don’t bother the rest of us with your “football.”
? If everything works out, the SEC Championship game between Florida and Alabammy will be a de facto National Championship Semi Final. Fuck that. I want a National Championship Semi Final without any queer latin in front of it. De Facto can lick my taint.
? I had to have one more thing because I wanted to use all the suits. I just found the symbols button. Look for more cool symbols to be heading your way. Like this: ? What the fuck is that?! No one knows. (ed note: Yes we do know. It’s a question mark. Moving on…)
-NBA Happenstance: No one watches the NBA before January and mostly no one watches until after the Super Bowl. Against the better judgement of my friends, I joined a couple of Fantasy Basketball Leagues to give that a go. The terror…the terror. Now I have to pay attention to this bullshit. Apparently because no one watches, star players think of every excuse to get out of playing early in the season. I have so many injuries and absences on my team it is impossible to pick a starting lineup. Mehmet Okur is in fucking Turkey right now! Hey you fuck! The fucking season started! Come get some rebounds and high shooting percentages for me you queer! (? Look, a trident!) (ed note: it was a wicked trident) So in conclusion, you rich assholes need to play the fucking game you’re getting paid to play. I don’t want to hear about sprained ankles and strained shoulders, I’m on to you dickbags. Man up and play! (? Fancy.) (ed note: I’m not even going to tell you what that was. It’s too depressing.)
-The Phillies won a couple of weeks ago. I’m sure no one noticed so I’m filling you in. They asked one of the Phillies what he was going to do now that he won the World Series and he said, “Reporting for Spring Training on Monday.” ZING!!!! You get it? Baseball is long. Ah, this baby’s wasted on you, where’s Chad?
I’ll use this to kinda wrap up UT’s season and weigh in on the Final Four, and other things. So, here we go.
Wow, I have never heard sports broken down so well. This sports article is the most interesting I have ever seen. I think you should click here so you can enjoy sports article as well.